There is nothing more shocking than a phone call at midnight. Especially when the voice on the other end of the line announces the death of a loved one abroad. At that moment, the world seems to stop, and you find yourself in a situation for which no one can truly prepare. Shock, disbelief, pain – all of this floods in at once, yet life demands action.
Cases of death in foreign countries raise many questions that need to be resolved even through the greatest pain. Bureaucratic processes, document management, the transport of remains procedures – all of this can seem like an unbearable burden when the heart has not yet accepted reality. However, knowing what to do can help avoid additional problems and reduce stress.
The first hours: how to manage the chaos
Upon receiving the news of a loved one's death abroad, first of all, you need to take a deep breath and understand that you have now become the main coordinator. Although emotions are running high, it is important to maintain at least a minimum of rationality – how smoothly subsequent processes proceed will depend on your actions.
The first step is to gather all available information. Find out the exact time, location, and circumstances of the death. If a hospital or police officer is calling, ask for contact details and a specific person you can contact later. Write down all the details, as it is easy to forget important things in a state of shock.
Contact the Lithuanian consulate or embassy in the country where the death occurred immediately. Consular service employees are your main helpers in this situation. They will not only help you understand local requirements but will also coordinate actions with Lithuanian institutions. Consulate contacts can always be found on the website of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.
It is important to inform close ones straight away, but not everyone at once. Choose one or two people who can help coordinate other matters – informing other relatives, contacting the employer, or taking care of household affairs. You will need all your strength for the main tasks.
The document labyrinth: what is needed and where to apply
In the event of a death abroad, processing documents becomes a complex process involving institutions from several countries. First, it will be necessary to obtain an official death certificate from the country where the death occurred. This document must be translated into Lithuanian and notarized or apostilled – depending on whether the country is a member of the Hague Convention.
The Lithuanian consulate will help obtain a copy of the consular death certificate, which will be required for further actions in Lithuania. However, this process can take a few days or even weeks, depending on the speed of the local bureaucracy and specific features of the country.
If the deceased had a will, now is the time to find it. A will may be kept with a notary, in a bank, or at home. Property and bank accounts located abroad will also require special procedures – each country has its own inheritance rules, which may differ from Lithuanian laws.
Do not forget about insurance policies. If the deceased held travel insurance or life insurance, contact the insurance companies immediately. Some policies cover repatriation expenses, which can save thousands of euros.
The dilemma of transporting remains: solutions and expenses
One of the hardest decisions is what to do with the deceased's remains. There are three main options: transport the remains to Lithuania, cremate abroad and return the ashes, or bury on-site. Each option has its advantages and difficulties.
Transporting remains is the most expensive but often the most emotionally important choice. Expenses can reach from 3,000 to 15,000 euros, depending on the country, distance, and additional procedures. A special coffin, embalming, veterinary certificates, and other formalities will be required. The process can take from a week to a month.
Cremation abroad and returning the ashes is a cheaper and simpler alternative. Expenses usually fluctuate between 1,000 and 3,000 euros, and the procedures are less complex. However, not all countries allow cremation, and it is unacceptable in some cultures.
Burying on-site can be the only practical solution if financial options are limited or if the deceased lived in that country for a long time. In many countries, there are Lithuanian community cemeteries or sections where a burial can be performed according to Lithuanian traditions.
Financial aspects: how to plan the expenses
A death abroad always implies unplanned and often large expenses. In addition to transport or burial costs, it will be necessary to pay for document processing, translations, consular services, and sometimes for an urgent flight to that country.
First of all, check whether the deceased had insurance policies that could cover part of the expenses. Travel insurance often covers repatriation costs, while life insurance can help cover burial costs. Some credit cards also offer death insurance.
If funds are lacking, it is possible to apply for social assistance from the Lithuanian consulate. Although the consulate cannot finance all expenses, they can help contact charity organizations or Lithuanian communities that sometimes provide help in such cases.
It is important to know that some expenses can be compensated later. For example, if the deceased worked and paid social insurance contributions, their family members may have the right to a funeral allowance or other payments. It is also worth checking whether the employer has any social guarantees for employees' families.
The emotional side: how to survive and where to turn for help
Handling practical matters when the heart is full of pain is incredibly difficult. Shock, outbursts of anger, a feeling of helplessness – all of this is normal in such a situation. However, it is important not to lose touch with reality and to ask for help if needed.
If you feel unable to handle practical questions, ask relatives or friends for help. Sometimes it is enough for someone to be nearby during phone calls or to help find the required documents. Do not be afraid to appear weak – in such a situation, every person has the right to help.
Free psychological help lines operate in Lithuania, which you can utilize at any time of the day. Also, in many cities, there are grief support groups where you can meet people who have experienced similar situations.
Do not forget that the grieving process lasts a long time, and handling practical affairs is only the beginning. Allow yourself to grieve, but at the same time, try to maintain at least a minimal daily rhythm – eat, sleep, and communicate with close ones.
Returning home: how to continue life after a tragedy
Once the main procedures are completed and the deceased is buried or their remains are transported to Lithuania, another stage begins – continuing life without the loved one. This process can be even more difficult than the first chaotic days because there are no longer urgent practical tasks to distract attention from the pain.
It is important to understand that grieving is not a linear process with clear stages. Sometimes it will seem that it is already better, and then a wave of pain will flood over again. This is normal and natural. Each person grieves in their own way and at their own pace.
Practical affairs are also not yet finished. It will be necessary to handle the inheritance, solve property issues, and perhaps change documents. If the deceased lived abroad, transporting or transferring their personal belongings can also take time. All this requires patience and sometimes additional travel or correspondence with foreign institutions.
Do not forget to take care of yourself. During grieving, people often forget basic things – to eat properly, exercise, or communicate with friends. However, physical and mental health is especially important during this difficult period.
When pain turns into experience: thoughts on what remains
No one can prepare for the death of a loved one abroad. It is always a shock that knocks you out of your routine and forces you to learn things you never wanted to know. However, people are surprisingly resilient, and even after such tragedies, life goes on.
Experience shows that those who go through such situations often become stronger and appreciate life more. They learn to separate truly important things from trivial matters and better understand what is genuinely significant.
It is important to remember that asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Consuls, social workers, psychologists, friends, and family members – they all exist to help in difficult moments. Use their support and do not feel guilty about it.
Ultimately, although the pain will never completely disappear, it changes. The sharp edges will soften over time, and memories of your loved one will become brighter. Life after such a tragedy will never be the same, but it can be meaningful and worth living. This is not a betrayal of the deceased, but the best way to honor their memory.
